I blew it.

I met a girl when I went out dancing (if you can call my bizarre movements on a dance floor "dancing"). She was drop-dead gorgeous, and suprisingly, didn't run away when I danced with her. By that time, I had a couple brews in me and had transformed into my alterego, the LBPB. After speaking with her for a few minutes, I began to realize what a classy babe she was. I got her phone number and promised to call her when I returned from Waco a month later.

So let's fast-forward a month. I took her out for dinner and had a great time. Not only was she an intelligent, conservative babe, but her dad was a general in the United States military. That's right: a general. Nothing could be hotter to me than the daughter of a general. Before I dropped her back off at her apartment, I tricked her into agreeing to dinner and seeing Watchmen with me the following Saturday.

So, the next Friday rolled around, and I received a text from her, asking if her brother could come see the movie with us. Seemed a bit strange to have her kid brother tagging along on our second date, but I agreed to it.

That night I called her, and she sounded less than enthusiastic about our upcoming date. And the next morning, she texted me to say she had to meet me for dinner because she needed to study until the library closed at 6pm.

So I did the math:

(asks to bring brother) + (not enthusiastic in phone conversation) + (doesn't want me to pick her up for the date) + (too good looking for me) = (a girl who's not interested in me)

After solving the not-so-complicated equation above, I determined I wasn't going to pay 60 bucks to take out a girl who was obviously not interested. I'm not one to blindly pursue a babe. I need them to throw me a bone before I chase, and this girl wasn't even dangling a carrot. I called her to see what was up, but she didn't answer. So I sent her the following goodbye-text: "Can tell you're not interested in this being an actual date, so it's best we cancel. Maybe some other time when our lives have slowed down a bit. Take care." A little while later, my phone battery died because I had stayed with Logan and Chris the night before and didn't have my charger.

When I was finally able to charge my phone at 5pm, I saw that she had called and texted me a bunch. When I called her back, she explained that her brother had fallen on rough times and wanted to come in town to see her. That's why she had asked if he could watch the movie with us. Also, she explained her lack of enthusiasm the night before was because she had been studying all day and was nervous for midterms the following week.

Apparently, I had misread the entire situation, and by that point in the day, she and her brother had already bought tickets to The Watchmen, and it was too late to take her to dinner. Although she was nice enough on the phone, I could tell by her tone that she was not pleased with having been stood up.

This morning she texted me to say it wasn't going to work out between us. I replied that I was sorry about the night before and hoped she would reconsider. Didn't work. I also told her that my musculature resembles that of Dr. Manhattan's from the The Watchmen. Strangely, that didn't work either.

So I blew it, guys. Sure, maybe this babe was a bit weird. But heck, so am I. Time to learn from my mistakes and move on to the next gorgeous, intelligent daughter-of-a-general that I meet.

(weeping)