Monday, October 12, 2009

The Condescending Minimalist

I went to J Crew with Miggity the other day, and I walked out with a $69 sweater. I justified the purchase by reminding myself that I haven't shopped for clothes in ages. But as I left the store, I nearly committed Seppuku as I considered the absurdity of my purchase. I don't make any money. I'm not a producer in society. I live on student loans and financial help from my parents. Buying that sweater was spending money that wasn't mine, which only adds to the pain in my gut I get when thinking about my debt.

For the next month, I'll become a minimalist. I won't purchase anything outside of the necessities. I won't go out to eat, buy alcohol, buy tickets to anything, go on dates, etc. I'm quitting the internet (outside of blogging and email), and I'm not going to watch any movies or TV (outside of A&M football games). I'll live the basics. I'm already halfway there with my minimalist possessions: twin-sized mattress on the floor and rubbermaid chest of drawers.

I once knew someone in college who became a self-proclaimed minimalist. He sold his car, but rather than walking everywhere, he called his friends for rides all the time. He ended his lease and moved into another residence for free. So he wasn't a minimalist as much as he was a freeloader. Plus, he sold all of his clothes and wore plain jeans and a white tee every day. I'm not going to that extreme, as there are levels of survival I'm not willing to accept.

In addition to preventing a foolish increase in my debt, becoming a minimalist will benefit me in two other ways:

1) I get to act condescendingly towards liberals who spend extravagantly. "Hey, the money spent on that Lexus Hybrid (or that fancy dinner, expensive dress, pricey vacation) could've fed ten kids for a lifetime. But instead, your money went directly to corporate America. Some liberal you are." I'm certain to change a lot of minds when I expose their hypocrisy and falsify their moral superiority.

2) I'm jealous of the publicity giant over at The Uninformed Vegetarian. Creating my new identity, The Condescending Minimalist, will be the perfect weapon to squash that ignorant vegetable.

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

The freeloading minimalist is the worst. The absolute worst.

-JAM

TB said...

there are few ways better to spend money (yours or someone else's) than on a jcrew sweater, especially if that sweater is a merino v-neck.

Aggie said...

Sadly it's a cardigan.

j. coggins said...

pic plz

Michael said...

TPIWWP

Anonymous said...

A cardigan?? Really??
Jan

Caseyindallas said...

hahahaha! Re: Your mom's comment.

The condescending minimalist is the worst. I look forward to being a bad influence on him.

Anonymous said...

The condescending minimalist may want to delay his mission and purchase sharp clothes for interviews, lest he wind up doing a residency in, say, Islamabad.
kw

William said...

Yesterday I sat with Justin for about two and a half hours watching TV, including the full move Identity. The only break was taken for Justin to buy a Pizza Hut pizza. The only thing minimal here appears to be the effort he is putting into this project.

-The Uninformed Vegetarian

Anonymous said...

too funny!

Anonymous said...

justin-clearly, this blog entry is due to the subconscious desire to end up living in lubbock, texas at the esteemed honeycomb apartments.

-joe s

Logan said...

I for one look forward to the condescending minimalist and his cardigans.

"Pull-over!

No it's a cardigan but thanks for noticing."