Various

Living with William has taught me various things. For one, he often uses the term "various" to describe a multitude of things. For example, when you ask him what he's getting at the store, his response is "various." When you're on the phone with him and you ask what he's doing, his response is either "various" or "sitting here". Various is a non-specific descriptor that typically leaves the listener (or reader) satisfied. When you live with someone, you often find yourself adopting their habits and various peculiarities. And I have adopted "various" as my descriptor of choice.

I just got finished with a family vacation to various locations around Texas, and I figure I should share various highlights from it. The highlights mainly include various jokes from Beefy Jon, who made a triumphant return from Peru, where he works for the World Bank (maybe you've heard of it?).

While Beefy Jon and I were lounging, the following conversation took place:

Beefy Jon: I need to go to the bathroom.
Justin: So do I. Let's play swords for old time's sake.
Beefy Jon: Well, I can't play swords, but I guess I could play sword in the stone.

Regardless of where you stand on bathroom humor, one would certainly agree that this quick-witted response is worthy of at least a chuckle.

During our time spent in San Antonio, Cecivon invited Jon and me to a gay club where she was celebrating the completion of her surgery rotation with various homosexual friends (it's been brought to my attention that straight women, like Cecivon, feel "safe" at gay clubs). When I asked Jon what his feelings were on going to the gay club, he responded with a valuable life-lesson.

Beefy Jon: Justin, the most exciting thing about going to a straight club is getting the feeling that anything could happen. But the scariest thing about going to a gay club is getting the feeling that anything could happen.

The remainder of the conversation was spent discussing various hilarious ways in which we might end up drinking one too many cocktails and finding ourselves on the dance floor with a gay fellow (with things escalating from there).

After spending a couple nights in San Antonio and watching the great Ricky Skaggs at Gruene Hall with the fam, Jon and I split for Austin to spend an evening with various friends (The Scooter, TB, and JAM). While we enjoyed a night out at Pappadeaux with delicious margs, various sizes of crawfish, and plenty of laughs, we were unable to get any sleep at the Scooter's house thanks to his horny female cat (named Gus) who meowed outside our door the entire night because she was "in heat" (per the Scooter). The Scooter claimed the cat had "more personality than any human we know", but a grumpy TB scolded Gus for being exactly like every other cat he'd met except for his constant meowing.

Thanks for taking the time to read an account of a typical Wolfshohl family vacation. Special thanks to Karl Wolfshohl for providing additional various laughs not reported here.