I attended a church service a few years ago where the preacher spoke on the evils of pornography. At the end of the service, thirty porn-addicted men stood together on stage to publicly confess their problem and desire to quit. Part of me respected their honesty, but I couldn't help but cringe. Those men were probably good guys, but they branded themselves as perverts to an entire community of people, and we would forever see them as being perves.
Churches are beginning to put greater emphasis on its members being “real” with each other. The idea is that being “real” allows you to develop a genuine community where conversations are no longer rehearsed and friendships can be deeper. Matt Chandler, the pastor at the Village, often speaks of this. He hates when people say they are doing "fine" if they are really hurting.
I like where Chandler's head is at, but his idea falls short. The problem is that if you tell people that you’re weak, you will be treated like a weakling. I say it’s far more appropriate to only share your deepest problems with your closest friends, not a large bible study, and certainly not an entire community of people.
half moon console table
3 years ago
14 comments:
I totally agree with this post.
slightly rand-ish.
I disagree, and I'm too tired to tell you why(justinwhy).
In short, it has to do with the hearts and attitudes of the community, not just the person who is being "real". You know? You might.
Cringing at the thought of that church service
I agree with your end conclusion that the deepest parts of your heart should be shared with your inner-circle. However, it seems your motive is prideful.
"The problem is that if you tell people that you’re weak, you will be treated like a weakling."
This statement seems to be motivated by saving face and wanted to be treated "as something" or someone strong. Rooted in pride. And what is wrong about be treated as we all really are...which is weak?
You don't want to act pitiful towards skanks, idiots, and the socially inept. Treat them like the adults they should be, and it helps them... somehow.
grut?
Justin - why bar you so prideful??!!
Missing the Point
by Anonymous
Afterword by Anonymous
I guess the men stood up willingly....but how humiliating. I don't think that had to be witnessed by the entire congregation. I'm really glad I wasn't visiting that day! Awkward.
It is their decision to stand up, and each person should do what it takes for them to fix their problems. Maybe these people needed to be shamed in order to get their feet pointed in the right direction.
I also think this could send the wrong message to visitors (everyone at the church is a perv). I also don't think that just because you go in front of a church anything changes about something private like porn. Heck no one knows who looks at porn in private. And telling all my friends I do still will not alert them to whether I still do or not. If you told your wife/husband or significant other they could help much more than the congregation. Although still with private sins its up to the person.
Do you feel that the Catholic's Sacrament of Reconciliation might be a way for the same thing to happen? You're still admitting it to a stranger, but not airing your dirty laundry in public. Thus resulting in your personal "humiliation" but not in public "humiliation."
Or do you feel this is closeting the problem?
well said justin
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